The Perth Project

Hello, What’s Your Name?

A three week adventure around Viet Nam.

“Peter! Listen to me, I need a taxi!” my beloved wife said sternly to me.
My Response: “I can’t find a taxi! It’s not my fault there are none around, don’t get narky with me”.
Her Response: “I’m not getting narky; you’re bloody lost and can’t admit it”.
My Response: “I’m not lost, I know where we are, and the map doesn’t lie” (Apparently it does).
Her Response: “The man back there said we were lost and you told him he was wrong”.
My Response: “What do you want me to do then?”
Her Response: “Well, I’m going to ask the person over there to call a taxi!”
My Response: “Nic, she doesn’t speak English and we don’t speak Vietnamese”.
Her Response: “arhhhh you’re so frustrating”
My Response: “you’re so frustrating”.
My Response: “Nic don’t cry, it won’t help us”

Yes my dear readers, Niki and I were having an expedition into our first marital argument whilst lost in the quiet suburbs of Hoi An. Today, Vietnam decided to throw everything as us and we fell to our knees.

Rule No. 6 of being married – Don’t tell your wife not to cry, because it probably your fault that she is in the first place.

Niki and I were feeling a little stressed this morning and for good reason, we had just spent 12 hours on an overnight train from Sapa arriving into Hanoi at 4am, before jumping onto a plane bound for Danang, then catching a taxi to the local bus station to jump on the most horned obsessed crazy local bus we have ever travelled on. After stopping and starting for over an hour, we then walked 3 kms into the remote suburbs, the complete opposite direction to our hotel all whilst swimming in 38 degree heat with our huge packs on. Needless to say, things were getting a little heated between us. Now being a man, I take full responsibility… and blame it on my guide book for not telling me there was a second bus stop, which incidentally is where we were dropped off. And due to this reason it was no way my fault for Niki and I being lost. Yes, I told the local man who was trying to help me he was wrong, but that’s the benefit of hindsight.

So when I finally found our way, with Niki close to tears, sweat pouring off her from the ridiculously hot walk, me steaming that I was lost, Niki did the only normal thing to do upon entry to a hotel – she fainted! It was no little “Peter I don’t feel so good”, drop to the floor type of faint, it was a climbing up the steps to inspect our room type of faint. One of those moments when I get to chance to act out my Doctor fantasy’s and yell out “we need water here stat! And Nurse mop my brow”.  I’ve never seen so many hotel staff run around before and as she gained consciousness again, I quickly stuck my head in the room, said it looks great and hurried Niki onto the bed. For the next 4 days, everyone would  make sure Niki was treated like a Queen.

The Phuoc An Hotel was one of the best budget hotel’s I stayed in in Vietnam, if not the best. The staff were genuinely friendly and all gave excellent service, the rooms were immaculate, the breakfast great and of course free bikes into the town was an added bonus. I would highly recommend you staying here.

This was also about the time in our trip that my battle with Giardia finally stopped me in my tracks, I couldn’t move anymore without feeling sick, falling over due to severe cramps and running to the toilet. It was to the point that I needed to get medication, admit myself to Hospital or take out my pocket knife and slice out my bowel – I preferred the medication option. So after Niki was feeling a bit better we hurried down to the local chemist to get some antibiotics to nuke my bowels.

We needed Tinidazole and we knew we could get it over the counter, but not before a game of charades to explain my symptoms. With six people involved and a lot of hand gestures we finally got our message across with the help of a friendly lady who walked in off the street. Who then, with me obviously just explaining my severe problems and sense of urgency as I was holding on for dear life, said “do you want to come down to my Sister’s tailor shop”. Which I politely smiled and said “Umm not right now, I need to go back to bed”. Obviously not letting go that easy and here I thought I might get leniency as I was dying, she said “It won’t take long”.  Which I apologetically responded “Sorry, but it won’t take me long till I burst” and with that I run back to the hotel to sleep for the next 24 hours. The adventures into Hoi An would have to wait for another day and needless to say, things were just warming up…

The Word for Today

Giardia (noun): A common traveler’s illness caused by a not so friendly bacteria or protozoa. Symptoms include nausea, diarrhea, cramps, vomiting, fever, flushes and everything else that’s similar to malaria.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Hello, What’s Your Name?
A three week adventure around Viet Nam

“Don’t run across the road Nic, it shows them fear and your more likely to get mowed down” I yelled from the other side of the road in the Old Quarter of Hanoi, where I had accidently left my loving wife of 3 days behind. This would be become a bad habit of mine throughout Vietnam and particularly Hanoi, as I wrongly assumed she was always by my side. When in fact she was looking at the millions of bags and shoes that line the shop fronts. When this happened I would both cross back over the road and then lovingly bring her over in my hand or I would coax her to cross the road by herself. The problem with the second option is enviably she would get half way across, the traffic would increase in all directions and she would then stop dead in the middle of the road like a deer stuck in the headlights of an on coming vehicle – surely to meet a gruesome end. Eventually some Vietnamese driver would take pity and slowdown just enough for her scamper across the road. Then as my beloved wife had just crossed the road, her deep scorching glare would instantly burn into me reminding me never to do that again or my testicals would be cut off and would be used as fish balls at a local food stall.

See, today didn’t start to well and her patience have worn thin; little did she know the rest of the day that followed would only push it past breaking point. I woke up to my alarm at about 7ish and I was eager to explore this legendary city and to get some yummy Vietnamese food in my tummy. The room was bright from the sun outside and the noise of the rooster waking the world was sounding. In hindsight this should have been a warning. I lay in for about 20mins then decided enough is enough and woke Niki up, “come on sleepy head lets get started early to beat the heat”. In the 24 hours we had been there, I d never been so hot in Asia before and the humidity was enough to shower in. So my logic was sound. It was about 7.30ish; my wife got up and dressed all ready for the day.  However just as I got dressed my delightful parasitic friend reminded me that I might escape him when I’m sleeping but when I was awake, my butt belonged to him. I curled over with cramps and unfortunately told Niki I had to go back to sleep, I don’t feel too good. She accepted that well, I only wanted an hour and hopefully we would then go out. Just as I was drifting back asleep, I heard Niki turn on her phone to check the time and her messages.

It was quiet, too quiet. Something wasn’t right?

The next thing I heard from a rather annoyed wife was- “OH MY GOD PETER, YOU IDIOT! Its only 5.30am, you’ve put your clock forward the wrong way, and I’m going to kill you!” My response, “ohhhhh that’s why the rooster was crowing, it seemed a little late in the day for it”. With that she got back into bed, tugged at the blanket forcefully and went back to sleep. Oh did I mention it was my birthday as well!

Rule No. 2 of being married – Let your wife sleep in on her honeymoon

We decided to spend the day walking around Hanoi and booking a few tours for the next few days. Our first stop was at the ornate Ngoc Son Temple, located on a small island on Hoan Kiem Lake. Costing 5000 dong, the small temple offered an insight into the spiritual heart of Hanoi. The embalmed remains of a gigantic tortoise, which apparently still live in the lake today, resides here and is well worth checking out. The tortoises represents a legendary story of how the Vietnamese fort of invading China from its land and how the mighty emperor’s sword who defeated the Chinese, was returned to the gods by a giant tortoise who lived within the lake.

Fading due to the heat and lack of food, we made our way to Tamarind Cafe. Tamarind offers a great vegetarian menu with reasonable prices. The vibe of the place is chilled, the service not too bad by Hanoi standards, however I found some of the clientele were a little snotty – please and thank you’s go a long way! Niki had a beautiful clay pot whilst I had a delightful dish of handmade  nachos, you’ll have to go there to try it for yourself. Niki and I were hoping to head to Halong Bay the next day and we wanted to book a tour. We had seen Ocean Tours and ET-pumpkin online and they both looked great. We ended booking with ET pumpkin as they offered a boat that appealed (more on that next post) to our budget more, however we could of easily have gone with either company and would recommend checking out both companies to see which one meets your needs.

By mid afternoon we retreated to our hotel for a small siesta and along the way bought tickets to the 8pm water puppet show at the Municipal Water Puppet Theatre, the 6pm was sold out. Make sure you book early in the day to get the session you want, also perhaps pay more to get front section seats. This isn’t because you cant see from the other section, in fact you can see well but because rude tourists stick their camera high in the air to record the show,  thus obstructing your views – I thought you were meant to put it at eye level and rotate your hand, not move it from left to write like your doing the Grease lighting mega mix!

Our siesta was meant to last about an hour, 3 hours later we awoke to an hour before the performance and hunger pains – well I was hoping they were hunger pains. We got dressed and ran out the door, stopping for a quick meal at Pho 24 restaurant (so good), then straight onto the puppet show. I was excited about this, this was one of the top things that I wanted to see on our Vietnam adventure and my birthday was a great time for it. We arrived 5 minutes before it started and packed into a cramped auditorium. I have to say that the international tourists were the mostly badly behaved people there, talking during the show, arriving late, screaming kids, cameras flashing and moving in all directions. Whilst their Vietnamese counterparts sat quietly, oooinnnggg and arhinnnggg at the right moments (It was Vietnam school holidays).  Besides all this, the performance was genuinely amazing. The traditional oriental music was soothing to the soul and the twelve stories that were portrayed within the performance all related to different aspects of Vietnamese life. As we travelled these little stories would often drift across my mind as we passed rice fields, small towns and climbed into the mountains.

Feeling rather relaxed and enjoying the cooler air, Niki and I decided to stroll along Hoan Kiem Lake back to our hotel. We watched the  local Vietnamese idoly chatting, eating ice-cream and ballroom dancing along the rivers foreshore. Niki and I were laughing, her patience slowly returning. As we walked I noticed a shady character, quite clearly high on drugs, cut in front of us sharply and continue on his way. It was weird but couldn’t quiet put my finger on it, then with a sudden tug, I realised what was happening. I was being robbed! Geez these Vietnamese were bloody opportunistic, trying to get us off buses, hounding us on streets, pricing us higher on items, dodgy taxi metres and now this. As soon as I felt the tug on my bag, I turned left so quickly that I don’t know how the man next to me managed to pull his hand off me even quicker. Ironically our eyes met half way between me continuing onto my bag and him gazing off as if nothing happened, I almost expected him to start whistling a little tune. I instantly grabbed Niki and stopped whilst this other man walked on 10 metres and sat down. My bag pocket was open, however luckily I had nothing stowed in there. Niki and I picked up our pace and went straight back to the hotel, not before I eyeballed the potential thief as I walked past him. It was pointless to say anything at the risk of him pulling a knife on us, I wished him bad karma under my breathe though!

Back at the Especen hotel, my beloved wife broke down and sobbed. She had had enough! The heat and humidity, the opportunistic touts, the crazy roads, the whole culture shock to her and now a potential robbing, she wasn’t enjoying Hanoi at all. On the other hand I thought this was exactly what it would be like, having travelled through China a few years before. I felt it was my fault for giving the thief the opportunity and I promised I wouldn’t let my guard down again over the next 3 weeks. With Niki down in the dumps and me feeling still not well, I thought it was a good time to be heading to Halong Bay for some relaxation. Happy Birthday Peter…

The Word For Today

Sin Jow: A communication essential for all travellers.  The Vietnamese word for Hello.

Lonely Planet Vietnam Guidebooks On Sale

Popularity: 48% [?]

Hello, What’s Your Name?
A three week adventure around Viet Nam

I’m sure when I said to Niki 7 months ago “lets go to Vietnam for our honeymoon”, she had no idea was she was signing up for. I think I’m hugely to blame for that. For instance before we arrived she would talk about lazily sleeping on the beach, sipping cocktails, eating fantastic gourmet Vietnamese food, perhaps even sipping delicious French influenced coffee. You could see in her eyes the blue waters lapping against the perfect white sands of the South China Sea, she had dreamt and imagined Vietnam into perfection – I never thought once to maybe suggest it wouldn’t be so relaxing. However the only thing I saw in her eyes as we stood at an intersection in central Hanoi on our second day was fear, absolute bone shaking fear, shadowed by trembling tears in the background and a deadly look  burning into me saying  “Peter where the hell is my relaxing honeymoon you bastard?!”

Rule No. 1 of being married – Don’t take your new wife to Ha Noi for their honeymoon.

Niki and I arrived into Hanoi after our two week long stay in Bali for our wedding in Ubud. We did the usual budget flights with Air Asia and arrived to a small airport in the middle of farmland. You know you’re in the sticks when you see a couple of cows grazing at the end of airstrip.  Our first introduction to Viet Nam and to the dodgy operators that we had read about would be a slow and steady local bus we took to the city centre. The main benefit of the bus was easily being that the cost was a mere $3 instead of the $30 the taxis were after. As we travelled towards Hanoi we gained a small glimpse into local life, with bikes carrying cages of pigs, cows grazing on the side of the road, big concrete flyovers merging into dirt tracks and slow boats working along the mighty Song Hong (Red River).I was watching our route on the map, a bit of annoying habit of mine, and I knew that we were getting close to our drop off point. However it was hard to keep track of which road was what with road names changing every hundred metres, so when we stopped earlier than I expected and a bunch of touts got on the bus to tell us the bus stopped here, it was game time. Niki was quick to get up and begin getting her stuff, however something wasn’t right. None of the locals were moving and I’m sure I read somewhere months ago that it stopped in town. The touts were yelling at us that we had to get off and they would take us on their bikes into town, they even tried to pick up Niki’s bag. When we said “we weren’t moving and that no one else was moving” they got even more demanding. The two other tourists on the bus were also being hounded. Eventually they got the point and jumped off – just for us to go 2 blocks over and be nicely dropped of outside the Opera House to more opportunistic touts! – At least I knew where we were now and a 15 minute walk later we came upon the hotel we wanted to stay at, unfortunately though they must not have known we were coming as they had shut up shop months before (Spring Hotel).

Opting for plan B instead, we wandered over to the Especen Hotel located down a small alley near St Joseph Cathedral. This great little hotel had clean and spacious rooms starting at about $20us a night. So after two flights, a night in KL, a long slow bus trip, some heavy handed touts and one closed hotel, we were stretching out on a big double bed smiling that we finally made it to Viet Nam. This is about the time the Parasite known as Giardia kicked in and boy did it make its presence known.  I keeled over with cramps, my stomach made evacuation preparations and my brain started sending out emails to other parts of the body to bring them up to pace on a desperate situation. This happy little bug would haunt me for the next 2 weeks and would randomly make me run back to the hotel in need of a bathroom that I could camp out in. With this I make a heartfelt apology to any tourists or Vietnamese that I rudely barged passed on my great escape to the bathroom.

With Giardia on the mind, we rarely ventured far from the hotel on this day, instead opting to wander the authentic alleyways full of local characters doing everything from cutting hair to stirring large pots of Pho, a local flavoursome broth of goodness. We ate at alocal cafe for Lunch and Dinner know as La Place – yes an LP recommendation. The food was divine, with a selection of gourmet Vietnamese meals such as Chicken and Mango rice, pho, crepes and great fruit juices. The walls were covered in propaganda and 1940′s coffee posters. This is defiantly were the “cool” kids of Hanoi hung out, with writers typing away whilst sipping hot cups of Vietnamese coffee. Unfortunately thou, when we came back for dinner Niki found something that looked liked a finger nail in her juice…so what does any normal grossed out person who is absolutely appalled with this do? They pay their bill quietly and come back for lunch the next day – the food was just so damn good!

As the sun set for the day and the dark stormy weather closed in around us, the thunder and lighting made it’s ominous introduction. Within an hour a tropical thunderstorm was upon us and as we sat on our balcony feeling very unimportant in the whole picture of the world, I knew our three week travels through the ever resilient Vietnam would be humbling. Our adventures would take us from Hanoi to the world heritage listed Halong Bay, up to mountainous Sapa to the beach havens of Hoi and Hue, before trekking south to Nha Trang to catch up with friends and concluding in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh). With images of what laid ahead floating through my mind, I got up and made a mad dash for the bathroom…

The Word for Today

Pho (Noun): A Backpackers essential. The cheapest and more hearty dish you can get in Vietnam. Found in most street stalls and budget restaurants.

Lonely Planet Vietnam Guidebooks on Sale

Popularity: 16% [?]

Week 16 of the Perth Project.

Let’s face it, on the whole spectrum of tourist attractions in Australia, Western Australia in the only state to have a fetish for rocks. In fact, it’s a pastime of ours to market how important it is to your travelling experience to visit some form of geological artefact. For example, we have Wave Rock, the town of Boulder, the Bungle Bungle and of course the most famous of them all, the Pinnacles. It surprises me how many people live only a couple of hours away and have never taken the time to drive up to the town of Cervantes to witness these amazing sculptures. Now for those who have no Idea what I’m talking about and are thinking that the Pinnacles is something related to some monumental moment of your life, Ill fill you in. Besides the fact that they are rocks, as we have already established that, they are infact incrediable towers of limestone that have taken thousands of years to form. And unlike Wave Rock which is small and a little disappointing, the Pinnacles form a vast desert surrounded by sapphire blue waters, sunburnt sand and perfect blue skies.

The Pinnacles is located in Nambung National Park and is about 2 and half hours north of Perth.  I found myself up here with 3 uni mates working on a sustainable tourism project. There is nothing quite like getting in a car with 3 others you barely know and hurdling a couple hundred kilometres up the road, in some groups this can be disastrous – just for an example, an issue you may come accross is music and more importantly what music an individual decides to put on whilst driving up (Apparently its never to early for clubbing music). The group consisted of two Reunion Islanders (French) and a fellow Sandgroper. The ironic thing is I didn’t even know about Reunion Island unill I saw an ad for it when I watched Avatar, and then two weeks later I meet two members from this lost French Island. Anyway, we hit the road early, full of coffee and sugar, arriving into Cervantes about 11ish. Checking into the only caravan park and setting up our tents besides a small sand dune that opens up to the calmest  of blue waters I’ve seen in a long time. You could see small islands of the coast and fisherman on the beach casting a line.

We arrived into Nambung National Park about 1pm and began our observations, which I won’t bore you with. The Pinnacles has a fantastic interpretation centre  which explores how the towers formed as well as how the area developed into what it is today. After benefiting from the air conditioned building, we decided to run through the millions of flies back into the confines of the car. Trying to shut the door before any annoying winged pests could find their way in. The Pinnacles is effectively a big desert with a long circular road, which  you slowy drive around and stop at different parts to take photos or just to admire the amazing scenery. If you pick the time right ,you will be gifted with the changing moods of the sky,  where the sands beautifully change colours from violent yellow to red ochres as the sun disappears over the ocean. The shadows  of the pinnacles slowly creep up on you as if you were being stalking by the night.

The rest of the afternoon was devoted to feeding the fish, some people also refer to it as fishing. This old sea dog was sitting on the pier bringing in fish after fish, with the catch of the day easily being an amazing species of squid he caught. However no mater how much I tried, and even after diving into to the waters after I knocked a palstic bag with all my hooks in, all I could catch was a blowey. One day I’ll master it….hopefully.

It will cost you $11 for per car for entry into The Pinnacles, and if you go after 4.30pm for the sunset, entry is by honour box – wink, wink, nudge, nudge.  The camping site is about $20 a night for a tent and provides good shower/cooking facilities. If you’re in need of an ale, well you won’t find one. However if you want a beer, then the central Tavern is a good place to grab one. The crowd is good natured and enjoy a good game of snooker and a bet or two. Or in the case of our clubbing music lover, the ability to chat up a 16 year old, which we had to then politely point out that she was too young and no, you cant take her back to your tent, especially considering our tents are next door.

After a great nights sleep, an early morning swim and a yummy breakfast,we headed back to Perth, successfully gathering all the data for our project. The Pinnacles has always been a favourite of mine and if you haven’t had the chance to see it yet, grab yourself a tent and head up. It’s also a great stop if you’re going further north to Kalbarri or Shark Bay. Just don’t forget your clubbing music…

Thanks to Elise, Regis and Julia for the photos – it was an awesome trip! If you want more info on the Pinnacles-  or if you’d rather see what the worlds biggest squid looks like, click here – if that doesnt give you the creeps, nothing will.

Popularity: 52% [?]