The Perth Project

Hello, What’s Your Name?

A three week adventure around Viet Nam.

Do you ever have those moments when you’re travelling when you just stop and think “why the hell am I putting myself through this? Why am I squashed in a mini bus like a sardine?  Why am I seeing my life flash before my eyes? Why did I catch a train for 12 hours and slept in a bed no bigger than a cot? Why did I not book a package holiday to Bali?”  Well these were the particular thoughts that entered my mind as I was in a minivan overtaking on a blind corner, with a scary looking ravine on my left, a slow bus on my right, a big bloody truck coming towards me and a Michael Schumacher want-a-be driver upfront chatting on his phone, whilst doing something similar to what I might call driving. Niki and I were on our way from Lao Cai to the mountain retreat of Sapa in Northern Vietnam.

This particular incident was a the first of many and after about the tenth time, I was about ready to ask Shoooie to pull over so I could change my pants, luckily for all concerned we had just arrived into the perfectly back dropped Sapa. Nic and I had travelled all the way from Halong Bay the afternoon before, after a beautiful over night stay on a Junk we caught an overnight train from Hanoi to Lao Cai. We had travelled in the Fransipan express cabin and it was great. Complimentary fruit, nuts and water, a comfortable cabin and pleasant staff. The only downside was my top level bunk bed. I have travelled on many trains through out my adventures over the years, however the only way I could explain the level of rocking  this bunk bed was experiencing is something similar to being strapped to a space shuttle on re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere. Similar to the thoughts astronauts might have about whether or not they were going to make it alive into earth, I was thinking whether or not I was going to break loose of the small chains holding my bed to the ceiling and launch myself through the carriage at the speed of light.

Arriving into Sapa is breathtaking and I’m not just talking about the high altitude. Set high up in the mountains, Sapa is perfectly nestled in-between a mountain range and everywhere you look there is a perfect photo moment. The architecture is distinctly, yet slightly out of place, French, with similarities to ski resorts in Europe. Sapa is also home to many ethnic groups including the Black Hmong, Red Dzao, Thai’s and the Flower Hmong. Dressed in their colourful hand woven clothing, draped with their local wares to sell, they pleasantly greet you and strike up a conservation whilst you walk to you hotel. The women were of all ages, with some carrying sleeping babies on their backs in slings, with others carrying large baskets of food and spices. The older ladies had the most amazing faces with hard lines etched into their skin to tell the story of the harshness of hard work and harsh environments.

When we arrived, these friendly Hmong women took an instant liking to Niki, with five of these lovely ladies deciding to latch on to her and ask her the routine questions “Hello, What’s your name? Where are you from? Melbourne or Sydney? Are you married?  How old are you? Do you have babies?” All this within two minutes of meeting us, they were just so charming that it was hard not to engage in conversation.

At one point I lost Niki as these women surrounded her and talked her ear off. She was loosing the battle; Niki was surrounded and stuck in the middle, unable to push past as the Hmong were just too damn nice that Niki could show no rudeness. From where I stood, it looked similar to a lamb stuck in the middle of a pack of wolfs about to be overcome. When Niki dropped to her knees, I knew it was time to stop laughing and go to the rescue of her. That’s what  husbands do right?  Grabbing her hand whilst she was circled, it felt like a cliff-hanger moment. You know that part in the movie where Stallone holds his wife’s hand, looks her in the eyes and then drops her into the ravine? Well I could see the same “please don’t let me go” and “stop laughing you bastard” look in my new wife’s eyes.

Rule No. 4 of being married – Dont laugh at your wife unless she’s  laughing.

With these women following us all the way down the street, then back up the street after we realised we had missed the hotel, we were sure they were going to a find a way for us to part with our money, but they didn’t…or at least not then. They were just generally interested in practicing their English and having a chat. We were staying at the Pinocchio Hotel which has great staff and amazing views. The rooms were basic, clean and secure. The only slight downside was that if you’re a light sleeper, the traffic in the morning (namely the horns) can be a bit of problem due to the closeness of the road. Sapa had already captured my imagination and I’d only been here for two hours, the next four days was only going to seal it as one of the most amazing places in the world.

The Word for Today

Hmong (noun): One of many ethnic minority groups of Northern Vietnam. The Hmong also live in Thailand, China and Laos.

Popularity: 100% [?]

Hello, What’s Your Name?
A three week adventure around Viet Nam

“Don’t run across the road Nic, it shows them fear and your more likely to get mowed down” I yelled from the other side of the road in the Old Quarter of Hanoi, where I had accidently left my loving wife of 3 days behind. This would be become a bad habit of mine throughout Vietnam and particularly Hanoi, as I wrongly assumed she was always by my side. When in fact she was looking at the millions of bags and shoes that line the shop fronts. When this happened I would both cross back over the road and then lovingly bring her over in my hand or I would coax her to cross the road by herself. The problem with the second option is enviably she would get half way across, the traffic would increase in all directions and she would then stop dead in the middle of the road like a deer stuck in the headlights of an on coming vehicle – surely to meet a gruesome end. Eventually some Vietnamese driver would take pity and slowdown just enough for her scamper across the road. Then as my beloved wife had just crossed the road, her deep scorching glare would instantly burn into me reminding me never to do that again or my testicals would be cut off and would be used as fish balls at a local food stall.

See, today didn’t start to well and her patience have worn thin; little did she know the rest of the day that followed would only push it past breaking point. I woke up to my alarm at about 7ish and I was eager to explore this legendary city and to get some yummy Vietnamese food in my tummy. The room was bright from the sun outside and the noise of the rooster waking the world was sounding. In hindsight this should have been a warning. I lay in for about 20mins then decided enough is enough and woke Niki up, “come on sleepy head lets get started early to beat the heat”. In the 24 hours we had been there, I d never been so hot in Asia before and the humidity was enough to shower in. So my logic was sound. It was about 7.30ish; my wife got up and dressed all ready for the day.  However just as I got dressed my delightful parasitic friend reminded me that I might escape him when I’m sleeping but when I was awake, my butt belonged to him. I curled over with cramps and unfortunately told Niki I had to go back to sleep, I don’t feel too good. She accepted that well, I only wanted an hour and hopefully we would then go out. Just as I was drifting back asleep, I heard Niki turn on her phone to check the time and her messages.

It was quiet, too quiet. Something wasn’t right?

The next thing I heard from a rather annoyed wife was- “OH MY GOD PETER, YOU IDIOT! Its only 5.30am, you’ve put your clock forward the wrong way, and I’m going to kill you!” My response, “ohhhhh that’s why the rooster was crowing, it seemed a little late in the day for it”. With that she got back into bed, tugged at the blanket forcefully and went back to sleep. Oh did I mention it was my birthday as well!

Rule No. 2 of being married – Let your wife sleep in on her honeymoon

We decided to spend the day walking around Hanoi and booking a few tours for the next few days. Our first stop was at the ornate Ngoc Son Temple, located on a small island on Hoan Kiem Lake. Costing 5000 dong, the small temple offered an insight into the spiritual heart of Hanoi. The embalmed remains of a gigantic tortoise, which apparently still live in the lake today, resides here and is well worth checking out. The tortoises represents a legendary story of how the Vietnamese fort of invading China from its land and how the mighty emperor’s sword who defeated the Chinese, was returned to the gods by a giant tortoise who lived within the lake.

Fading due to the heat and lack of food, we made our way to Tamarind Cafe. Tamarind offers a great vegetarian menu with reasonable prices. The vibe of the place is chilled, the service not too bad by Hanoi standards, however I found some of the clientele were a little snotty – please and thank you’s go a long way! Niki had a beautiful clay pot whilst I had a delightful dish of handmade  nachos, you’ll have to go there to try it for yourself. Niki and I were hoping to head to Halong Bay the next day and we wanted to book a tour. We had seen Ocean Tours and ET-pumpkin online and they both looked great. We ended booking with ET pumpkin as they offered a boat that appealed (more on that next post) to our budget more, however we could of easily have gone with either company and would recommend checking out both companies to see which one meets your needs.

By mid afternoon we retreated to our hotel for a small siesta and along the way bought tickets to the 8pm water puppet show at the Municipal Water Puppet Theatre, the 6pm was sold out. Make sure you book early in the day to get the session you want, also perhaps pay more to get front section seats. This isn’t because you cant see from the other section, in fact you can see well but because rude tourists stick their camera high in the air to record the show,  thus obstructing your views – I thought you were meant to put it at eye level and rotate your hand, not move it from left to write like your doing the Grease lighting mega mix!

Our siesta was meant to last about an hour, 3 hours later we awoke to an hour before the performance and hunger pains – well I was hoping they were hunger pains. We got dressed and ran out the door, stopping for a quick meal at Pho 24 restaurant (so good), then straight onto the puppet show. I was excited about this, this was one of the top things that I wanted to see on our Vietnam adventure and my birthday was a great time for it. We arrived 5 minutes before it started and packed into a cramped auditorium. I have to say that the international tourists were the mostly badly behaved people there, talking during the show, arriving late, screaming kids, cameras flashing and moving in all directions. Whilst their Vietnamese counterparts sat quietly, oooinnnggg and arhinnnggg at the right moments (It was Vietnam school holidays).  Besides all this, the performance was genuinely amazing. The traditional oriental music was soothing to the soul and the twelve stories that were portrayed within the performance all related to different aspects of Vietnamese life. As we travelled these little stories would often drift across my mind as we passed rice fields, small towns and climbed into the mountains.

Feeling rather relaxed and enjoying the cooler air, Niki and I decided to stroll along Hoan Kiem Lake back to our hotel. We watched the  local Vietnamese idoly chatting, eating ice-cream and ballroom dancing along the rivers foreshore. Niki and I were laughing, her patience slowly returning. As we walked I noticed a shady character, quite clearly high on drugs, cut in front of us sharply and continue on his way. It was weird but couldn’t quiet put my finger on it, then with a sudden tug, I realised what was happening. I was being robbed! Geez these Vietnamese were bloody opportunistic, trying to get us off buses, hounding us on streets, pricing us higher on items, dodgy taxi metres and now this. As soon as I felt the tug on my bag, I turned left so quickly that I don’t know how the man next to me managed to pull his hand off me even quicker. Ironically our eyes met half way between me continuing onto my bag and him gazing off as if nothing happened, I almost expected him to start whistling a little tune. I instantly grabbed Niki and stopped whilst this other man walked on 10 metres and sat down. My bag pocket was open, however luckily I had nothing stowed in there. Niki and I picked up our pace and went straight back to the hotel, not before I eyeballed the potential thief as I walked past him. It was pointless to say anything at the risk of him pulling a knife on us, I wished him bad karma under my breathe though!

Back at the Especen hotel, my beloved wife broke down and sobbed. She had had enough! The heat and humidity, the opportunistic touts, the crazy roads, the whole culture shock to her and now a potential robbing, she wasn’t enjoying Hanoi at all. On the other hand I thought this was exactly what it would be like, having travelled through China a few years before. I felt it was my fault for giving the thief the opportunity and I promised I wouldn’t let my guard down again over the next 3 weeks. With Niki down in the dumps and me feeling still not well, I thought it was a good time to be heading to Halong Bay for some relaxation. Happy Birthday Peter…

The Word For Today

Sin Jow: A communication essential for all travellers.  The Vietnamese word for Hello.

Lonely Planet Vietnam Guidebooks On Sale

Popularity: 48% [?]

Week 17 of the Perth Project.

A British colleague I once worked with said “if the adventure is all about the journey than the destination must be really shit”, however in the case of our recent adventures to Dwellingup, I couldn’t help but disagree with him. After a couple of weeks of solo trips and N.M.I.A. (Niki Missing in action), we have joined forces again to fight of the evil stresses of the city and have hit the road for some nature, hiking and relaxation.

A couple years back I use to follow the World Rally Cars when they came to Perth for Rally Australia, and one of the locations they visited was the small town of Dwellingup, located about 100km south of Perth. They use to race through some of the most amazing forests in Western Australia and I was really keen one day to return. Today is that day! So Nic and I packed up are hiking gear and headed south for the winter. Our journey cuts through the Darling Range driving through spectacular eucalyptus forests and past pristine rivers. Along the way you have the opportunity to stop at the various dams that provide Perth with its drinking water – for some reason I had this urge to scull a martini, repeat my surname in a swab English accent and then hurl myself of the wall with a bungee cord attached to me feet and  an Ak37 in one hand. Times like this I think I should have been a Secret Agent!

Anyway, after I got 007 out of my system and dodging the look in Niki’s eyes ”saying this is the last time I’m ever taking you to a bloody dam”, we arrived in the small quaint timber town of Dwellingup. Dwellingup is just what you picture; small ornate cottage style houses, typical country style shops  and a small town atmosphere almost bordering on a hippy come bohemian feel. The fresh air cleaned out the cobwebs and the quietness was just what we were looking for. The town has heaps of heritage and if you’re into this type of tourism, then the small town walks will give you a great insight into the history of the place. The local tourism centre can provide you the maps and all the info you need.

However what Nic and I were here for was the outdoor activities and Dwellingup is a great place to do this. From climbing, canoeing, horse riding, camping, hiking, swimming or fishing, you can find it all here. We drove down to the Lane Poole Reserve, an idyllic park made for all of the above.  The park is divided down the middle by the serene Murray River and for us, the main destination for our hiking. Niki and I picked the Island Pool hiking track, a small loop about 20 minutes into the park. The hike took us along the winding banks and gave us the opportunity to watch wild ducks and other birdlife at play as well as sit by the river watching it slowly drift by. We even bumped into a few canoeists enjoying a lazy afternoon paddle.

After a short but enjoyable hike we sat down to eat some grub before heading home however not before hugging King Jarrah though – a large Jarrah tree which dwarfs everything around it. Dwellingup is a great little destination which I think alot of people often overlook on their way to Margaret River. Although I’m sure in the years to come its going to be another Denmark or Dunsborough.

By the way guys, I have a new blog coming up on Vietnam(talk about being a sucker for punishment) – more details coming soon!

Lane Poole Reserve

Popularity: 32% [?]

Week 14 of The Perth Project

Once again the Perth Upmarket was in fine form on Sunday, showcasing some amazing talent from some very creative Sandgropers.

The market was held at the University of Western Australia in the ever impressive Winthrop Hall. The hall however was sporting some battle scars after terrible hail damage from the recent super-storm we had in Perth. The dramatic weather had smashed out most of the spectacular Lead-Light windows in the Hall, and a quick patch up was needed to cover the windows with Perspex to deem the hall safe enough to house the market. But after all that repair work, the show went on!

There was an impressive turn out to the Upmarket, with thousands of people flocking to over 100 stalls, thus proving the handmade scene in Perth is alive, well and thriving.  There were no dolls, tea cosies or doyleys in sight. However this free event offers  a whole range of funky clothing, photography, craft, baby wear, stationary, bags, jewellery, toys, gourmet food and of course coffee – it is hand-made heaven.

For the shoppers the endless unique and hand crafted items provide way too much temptation to pass up, and for the creative’s there was wall to wall inspiration to get the creative juices flowing. I was in my element, darting from one stall to the next like a kid in a lolly shop, whilst poor Peter tried to keep up with me without getting lost in the crowd of people, prams and stalls. I think at one stage there was a hit and run case with Peter and a pram – but hey that’s the thrill of the markets for you.

Our favourite quarterly market is back again on the 27^th of June, but we will be away getting hitched at the time, so it’s a 6 month wait for us till the next Perth Upmarket. If your in town, take the time to check it out, you purses will be lighter however you will be supporting this great developing scene of unique handmade goodies in Perth. The question is thou, will I survive the 6 month wait?

Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction of the Perth Upmarket

Popularity: 34% [?]